NEw LiFE

Christmas and the New Year are a time of over-spending and over-eating... and just living large. I have been out of sorts of late. Just a little run down I think, but a few days ago I got a virus that came on fast and hard and caught me with my pants down. After going to bed with a fever I woke a few hours later in a state of panic. I really thought that I was dying and had just seconds to live. It was horrific to feel that way. I had Cancer (Melanoma) almost five years ago and my mind was telling me that this is how you feel when your organs are shutting down. It was telling me that my last check up was too long ago and the doctor didn't order a blood test and x-ray for the first time .... maybe that's how the secondary Cancer grew in my body and was about to kill me!! Silly mind. Must be the silly season.

I broke free of this mental state and went outside (very slowly, for I was very dizzy) and tried my best to live. Breathing slowly and inhaling the trees that surround my home. I Breathed in the clouds and the flowers and the love that I have for my three little stars and Melanie. I clapped my hands and stamped my feet (I was off the planet!) and promised to honour myself. It took half an hour or so, but I did come back to earth and I think my temperature came down quite a bit too. And I felt better. MAYBE we should all come back to Earth and bring down the temperature of the globe. It was a quite profound experience for me. Strangely more than the Cancer treatments and surgeries. I have a new respect for life. New Life. The real meaning of Christmas and the New Year. I remembered who I am, and why I am here. It was nice.

Serenity ....... aaaahhh....! This is not me. I have just finished frothing (milk) my way through the morning and am waiting to join the frothy ocean for a few waves. The ocean is heaving and the wind is gusting [HARD!!] ... so although the conditions aren't the same as the photo, my inner feeling will be the same. Funny, that. Today I am pondering connections and how we magnetise (this is how we spell it in Australia) our thoughts and feelings in particular ways according to what is in our recent consciousness. For example, when you buy a new car, and suddenly you find other cars the same everwhere!! and.... i just bought a new bodyboard to surf with and found all the feelings of my teenage years come flooding back (when I fist started bodyboarding). Association, connections, consiousness .... the human mind is a wonderful gift. Sometimes it is a real pain in the arse. Mmmmm.

Oh ... freedom.

Oh to be free. It means just about everything to everyone, but we all seem to find it in different ways and in different places ... thank goodness for that!! For me, I found it in my Kombi, whether it was moving or not. I find it in the ocean, whether I am swimming, surfing, bodyboarding, floating .... but especially when i am riding a wave or inside the tube (barrel). I am free in my country to say whatever I please, really free ... and my government allows this, I do not know of many who truly are. To be Australian is really quite unique, because we are all born free here, and I thank the traditional landowners of this country, the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders for setting such a great example on how to truly live. It took me to have Cancer to appreciate this. What makes you free? How do you live?

Good evening, and may I introduce myself. Adam Yeshe Star and my three little stars, Ziah, Coen and Liviya. This photo was taken six months ago, and as I write this fist short entry, one arm is still wrapped around my baby girl. Much has changed in that six months, but I am stronger, wiser and filled with more love than I could have ever imagined ... sometimes close to bursting. Without Melanie (my girlfriend) I would not have this. She is some brave and powerful woman. So welcome to our world, and let the games begin.